Saturday 24 October 2020
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MILAN – Media Tycoon and former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has put his hat in the ring to become the new Pope.
Although it looks unlikely that the man who makes Caligula look like a blushing celibate will ever achieve a majority in the Papal conclave, supporters are welcoming his candidacy. ‘At last a we would have a Pope who understands the true meaning of Catholicism,’ said Fabio Brandalise. ‘That is doing whatever the hell you want and then being forgiven on Sunday, or the next elections.’

It now appears that the transfer of Mario Balotelli from Manchester City to AC Milan – a football club owned by Mr. Berlusconi – may have been a way of making him seem holier.
Cardinal Bergnassi however said that a Pope Silvio would be a disaster for the church:

First there’s Movie 43, then Argo wins also those awards and now Berlusconi for Pope? Jesus Christ, it’s like God doesn’t even want us to believe in him any more.   

Berlusconi also owns several film studios and distribution companies which makes this news entirely relevant to a film site such as ours, so there. Before you even start.

Berlusconi’s new film Pretty Little Girl is due for release in 2015.

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