HOLLYWOOD – Following the events of the last few weeks, the World has decided that the casting of Ben Affleck in the role of Batman in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is ‘just not that big a deal’.
When the new Batman Ben Affleck was announced the internets exploded in derision and anger, a species of fury usually reserved for traitors and dentists who hunt kittens for sport. However, with the recent tragic events in Paris, the renewed bombing in Syria, the tensions between Russia and Turkey, and the shootings in San Bernardino, Calif., the mood has changed on the new incumbent of the DC Comics Hero. The World issued a statement EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec Penthouse:
We were upset about Ben Affleck become Batman. I mean Jesus Christ, he was insufferable in Argo and Jersey Girl… I mean come on. People also can see how he fared in a Superhero movie by looking at Daredevil and comparing it to the new TV show. It’s just in another league and then to here that he’s going to be part of a movie which looks like setting up the Justice League and going head to head with Superman. I mean… urgh. However, given that El Nino looks bad this year and we’ve just had the warmest year on record again, renewed violence in the Middle East, political censorship and oppression reigning unchecked, human rights being ignored, terrorist death cults on the one hand and mass shootings on the other, or both… Affleck was good in Gone Girl I suppose. So maybe it won’t be so bad. And anyway, it’s just a f*cking movie.