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Tuesday 16 July 2019
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BEN AFFLECK RETIRES AS AN ACTOR TO CONCENTRATE ON BEING A MEME

BEN AFFLECK RETIRES AS AN ACTOR TO CONCENTRATE ON BEING A MEME

HOLLYWOOD – Actor and film director Ben Affleck announced today that he was giving up acting and directing in order to pursue an alternate career as an internet meme.

Argo director and Batman v Superman star, Ben Affleck today announced his retirement from the movie business so that he can concentrate fully on being an internet meme. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Ben had this to say:

It’s f*cking crazy man. I spent years putting together Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon. Writing the script, going to meetings. Years. And the same with Argo. It took so much time. And even the acting jobs look easy but the mornings are early, the nights are late, it’s difficult and Zach Snyder shouts in your ear hole all the time. Making┬áBatman v Superman, I had months of washing Snyder’s spittle out of my f*cking hair. It’s f*cking disgusting. And then every dip sh*t with a blog just pisses on you and sh*ts on you from a height. So what’s the f*cking point?

I don’t….

Yeah, exactly. Stupid ass biscuits! And then something odd happened. All of a sudden everyone was talking about me and sharing videos of me. It’s called a mem Exec. A f*cking meme. All I have to do is look sad during some interview and all of a sudden boom. I’m everywhere. No work, literally zero.

So that interview with Bill Simmons…?

Goddamned right. That’s gonna be a meme too, you see! It’ll be all over the place. And you want to know an advantage of that.

What?

You can do it drunk.

That’s great.

F*cking A!

Ben Affleck will next be seen in Ben Affleck Walks Around a Park without Trousers.

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