BEN AFFLECK’S BATMAN SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET
HOLLYWOOD – Following on from Batman v Superman, Ben Affleck has written his own stand alone Batman script.
The Studio Exec has received a leaked copy of the script and here is publishing an EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT.
EXT: TEHRAN, IRAN – DAY
A desert wind blows down the street as the American hostages are escorted to the prison. But suddenly a shadow as of a bat sweeps over them.
BATMAN attacks and kills all the terrorists with a Gattling Gun.
Taste my pain, bitches.
Batman rescues the hostages.
INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY
President Obama gives BATMAN the Congressional Medal of Honor.
Well, Batman, What can I say? That was amazing! First you kill the terrorists, then you rescue the hostages and now you’ve given me a comprehensive solution to climate change.
Just something I did on my lunchbreak. But it still won’t bring back my parents.
No of course not. But is there something more that we can do for you?
Yes, I need you to give me back Robin.
Robin? I don’t believe we have anyone in our employ called Robin.
The truth is he was part of a CIA black ops and you wiped his memory and convinced him his name was Jason Bourne.
Wow, so all those films were just…
INT. BATCAVE. NIGHT.
BATMAN and ROBIN are looking at a map of the city.
It’s good to be back, Batman. With my memory fully restored. I could have sworn that I helped you write Good Will Hunting.
Nope, that was all me. Ready. Tonight we much face a cabal of our darkest foes.
Guess again Boy Wonder!
The New York Critics Circle?
A.O. Scott and his villainous gang must be stopped. To the Batmobile. And don’t forget the napalm!