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Monday 28 September 2020
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BAZ LUHRMANN TOLD TO SHUT THE F*CK UP

BAZ LUHRMANN TOLD TO SHUT THE F*CK UP

 HOLLYWOOD – The movie industry is in a state of shock as yesterday Baz Luhrmann was told to ‘shut the f*ck up’ by an exec (not this one) in a pre-production meeting.

Actor and sharp faced Aussie, Guy Pearce was in the meeting and spoke with the Studio Exec:

I’m still shaking, feel my arm. That’s not acting mate; although I can do that easy. Have you seen my acting?

Yes, it’s good. Good acting. So what happened with Baz?

Bazza was going through some pre-viz shots for his Citizen Kane remake, just a standard montage with 356 shots per second with a kick ass Pussy Cat Dolls album track and lots of zooms, like whoooooooosh and wheeeeeeee. And he starts talking about his vision for the movie when this guy just ups and says ‘SHUT THE F*CK UP!’

Jesus.

I was confused at first. I looked like this [pulls confused face]. That’s just me acting by the way, I’m not confused now. This is the kind of face I did sometimes in Memento, have you seen that?

Yes Guy, it’s good. So what happened next?

I think I fainted, I’m not proud of it. I came up on the Australian soap circuit and I’ve heard my fair share of trash talk, but this was a whole new level. He told him to ‘shut the f*ck up!’

What’s the latest from the hospital, do they think Baz will pull through?

He’s in some kind of coma. Far gone, and he looks like he’s aged about 40 years! not unlike the character I played in Prometheus. Have you seen that?

Ye…no, no didn’t catch that. I was out of the country at the time.

I have a copy right here! Look, [pulls DVD from inside pocket]. I was going to play it for Baz, you know, just in case he can hear it in whatever realm he’s in. But we could watch it right here, right now!

Well I don’t think I have the…

Done deal mate…sit back, relax. It’s the extended edition too. Boy are you in for a treat.

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