BANA BANNED FROM BANDING BANNER BIOPIC

Eric Bana

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel Studios have reportedly banned Eric Bana, slapping the actor with a Cease and Desist order, after he reportedly banded around town the idea of a Bana led Bruce Banner biopic, because of Bana’s lack of bankability.

Speaking exclusively to the Studio Exec, Bana expanded on his plans.

It always felt like unfinished business with me and Bruce Banner. I know the fans didn’t approve of my performance of The Hulk in Ang Lee’s movie, but that was Hulk’s performance, not mine! From speaking to nerds at conventions and shit, they all seem really interested in the quiet reflective and repressed aspects of Banner and that’s something that I suppose I could do.

So is there a script?

I’ve got access to Banner’s diary, so it’s totes legit.

Who’s what now?

Yeah, me and Bruce are quite close and he has stated for the record that my performance most captures his essence. The Hulk however does not agree and so that is one of the reasons why the film will be a Banner only affair.

But, Eric, mate…there is no Bruce Banner, there is no Hulk.

I have a headache, I’m sorry. Is it hot in here?

Eric? you ok?

There is no Eric, only Bruce. You not like Bruce when he slightly moody!

Are you crying?…ok, I’ll call you a cab. There there now.

Are you my Daddy?

No, I think that was Nick Nolte, oh God…in fact yes, yes I’m your Daddy, c’mere you little munchkin.

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