AVATAR SEQUELS TO BE IN 1D

MARIANA TRENCH – James Cameron has revealed today that the Avatar sequels – provisionally entitled Avatar 2, Avatar 3, and Avatar 4 – will be released in 1D, a revolutionary new viewing experience which is utterly deprived of depth and nuance.

Former King of the World James Cameron could hardly contain his excitement speaking about the new technology:

With the first film we almost got there and I have to give Sam Worthington all the credit. The man is so one dimensional a performer, he has to be genuinely careful when he walks over grating.

What are the benefits of this new viewing experience? 

It means there is no clutter of depth. People who already have problems with depth perception will find the new films easy to watch. The plot if shallow, the characters have no interiority – they’re basically cardboard cut outs of generic types – and any political subtext is actually just out and out text.

Amazing! 

Isn’t it? The story will be predictable and the special effects will be so-so. It’s going to be fantastic.

So why have you abandoned 3D?

3D was always supposed to be a joke (Click Here for that story). I was always surprised and then more than a little embarrassed when it had such a big effect, but I didn’t take into account the ludicrous price hike that it would bring in. 

And following Avatar, what are your plans?

That will take us a long way into the future but after that I really want to change direction. And I’ve been talking with the studio about directing a sequel to Spielberg’s Schindler’s List. My script is already done.

Avatar 2, Avatar 3 and Avatar 4 will be released in 2015, 2016 and 2017 and Schindler’s Lists will be released in 2018.

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