SAN DIEGO – Arnold Schwarzenegger has offered ‘to do anybody who needs being done’ in an attempt to repair his image.
In a statement issued earlier today the former Governator of California stated:
I feel I have made some mistakes and hurt a lot of people’s feelings,’ said . ‘I thought my book where I brag about doing people left, right and centre would put things to right. You have to remember I come from a culture of vanity, sexual prowess and physical athleticism. In a word, Austria. So it is hard for me to readjust to California having only been here for forty odd years.
For some it has been his extra-marital affairs but for others, it was his claim to have done San Diego ‘pretty much in its entirety’ (Click here to read more). However, to make amends Arnold Schwarzengger has offered to ‘do anyone who wishes to be done’ (over 18 and consenting).
Some people have said that I am a vulgar muscle head and I have a wurstel which is out of control. Others have snidely remarked that Viagra takes me to stay up and at it, but these aspersions are like the water off the asshole of a duck if you get my meaning. I am a sophisticated and generous man and I am willing to do anyone, man, or woman, who feels like their very own Oktober Fest. I might add that I am a sensitive lover, but no kissing because of the horrible cooties.