LONDON – After last night’s double BAFTA win Ben Affleck’s passport caper Argo shot to the top of the IMDB rankings kicking The Shawshank Redemption from the number one spot.

Warner Brothers spokesman Chester Field told us that whilst everyone involved in the production is pleased with the accolades, the picture’s astounding success still hasn’t quite sunk in.

“Everyone is a little bit in shock if we’re honest,” said a shocked looking Field.

“When Ben showed us the film for the first time we thought. Yeah, this is all right. It’s a good old yarn and I’m sure we’ll make our money back but we never imagined it would be so popular.”

Executive producer George Clooney also declared he was mystified by Argo’s accolades.

“Hell, if I thought it would be up for any awards I would have directed it myself! That’s not saying Ben didn’t do a fine job but it’s not exactly The Master is it?

However Professor Hans Muller, a film history and philosophy lecturer at Harvard University claims he can explain why Argo is sweeping the boards.
“Beards” said a confident Foxton. “For decades the beard was out of fashion because women began dominating the fashion magazines and the pop videos and turning men into hairless girly boys they could boss around. The beard went from being a sign of masculinity to being a sign of laziness and psychosis. Now men are simply throwing off the shackles of three decades of female oppression and shouting to the world I AM A MAN. I HAVE A BEARD!”
However director Danny Boyle thinks there is a more simple explanation for Argo’s success.

“Well it’s all just bollocks isn’t it. You can’t take any of it seriously and anyone who does needs a kick in the bollocks”

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