AMAZON REVEALS WINGED MAN SAME DAY DELIVERY SERVICE

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NEW YORK – Popular online retail giant Amazon today revealed that they would be implementing their new ‘Winged Men Same Day Delivery Service’ later this month.

The service will come at a small additional cost and will be available for all items except furniture. A spokesperson for Amazon spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We love the Winged Men service and so excited to offer this to our customers. They are such a colorful bunch and in the future we hope that the sound of a loudly barked ‘DIVE!’ will be a prelude to our customers finding their parcels on the doorstep. An additional advantage of the Winged Men is they are non-Union and can be paid in dead rodents thrown up in the air.

However, consumer groups have pointed to the potential danger of ‘basically unlicensed aerial vikings swooping on private residences’.  Dan Pettymore told the Exec:

It’s basically the same as when Netflix started delivering DVDs using the A Team. It was extremely lucky there were no fatalities.

The service is due to start this week.

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