NEW YORK – Respected film-maker Alex Gibney has confirmed that his next project will be a no-holds-barred documentary about family friendly pop princess turned headline baiting hussy Miley Cyrus titled Thoroughly Modern Martyr.

“She’s an interesting character,” said Gibney, inhaling a marker pen.

Potentially, she’s the most important figure since Jesus Christ and her cultural impact has already exceeded that of the alleged messiah. Jesus wasted a lot of years healing the sick and bothering any Jew in earshot with his pseudo philosophy when he should have just cut to the chase and sacrificed himself early doors. That’s the stunt that made his name and with a better agent he could have made a lot of money off the back of that gig. Fortunately, Miley has experienced PR staff around her and a natural sense of showmanship so she made the wise decision to skip all the foreplay and jump straight onto the cross. Now I’ll have the privilege of documenting the media hammering the nails in and watching her die a slow and painful death.

Asked how he planned to shoot the film, Gibney took another hard sniff of the sharpie.

The entire three hour picture will be a close up of her face. I want to see real emotion. Or fake emotion, it doesn’t really matter as long as it looks real. During the Lance Armstrong documentary, I chopped an onion out of shot to try and make him cry. It’s an old but effective trick. Unfortunately unbeknownst to me Lance had his ducts sealed shut in 1996 so they couldn’t test his tears for steroids.

Thoroughly Modern Martyr is due for release in 2014.
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