ALEC BALDWIN TO BE GAY FOR 2014

MALIBU – Alec Baldwin star of such films as Glengarry Glen Ross and Blue Jasmine, announced today that as part of his re-education program, following a series of scandalous and homophobic tweets, he is going to change his sexuality for one year and be officially homosexual for the entirety of 2014.

An obviously tipsy (but happy) Mr. Baldwin said: ‘Sure why not? Might be a gas!’

I’ve often thought of swinging both ways but repression up until now has been quite successful and has only been hinted at by ‘The Lady doth protest too much’ homophobia! I think one giveaway is the number of times I use the phrase ‘c*cksucker’.

Representatives of the LGBT community  welcomed Mr. Baldwin’s move, although making it clear that they believed sexuality was not a choice as such. Marcia Levelly said:

I’ve got a feeling this is just a ruse for Mr. Baldwin to do what he always wanted to do and so I say good luck to him. Once he’s had a taste, I don’t think he’ll ever go back.

 Alec Baldwin will be gay until 2015.

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