AFRICA – Adam Sandler has not been eaten by a cheetah while on holiday in Africa. The comic actor and Grown Ups 2 perpetrator was merely mauled lightly by the predator – a member of the big cat family. Animal Rights advocates have rushed to defend the animal. 

Adam Sandler was a bit slippery and there was someone else there protecting him, otherwise I’m sure the cheetah would have done us proud.

However, others – such as Swiss critic Xavier Poulis – were less forgiving:

This so called ‘man-eater’ had The Waterboy in his grip and let him go. The razor sharp claws did not slash, the fangs were not bathed in hot blood and life did not leak out into the hot African dust. The cheetah has never been so well named. He cheated us!

Grown Ups 2 will still come out, as inevitable as death. 

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