HOLLYWOOD -Today studio heads were rejoicing at the creation of the first impossible to satirize movie: Accidental Love.
Here at the Studio Exec Bungalows, we pride ourselves on our ability to rip the merry socks off any obsequeious bile that Hollywood cares to spew but Accidental Love the new rom-com starring Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal is just too… I mean I can’t… I mean look at the Goddamned poster.
The synopsis reads:
The film follows Alice Eckle (Jessica Biel), a somewhat naïve roller-skating waitress in a small Indiana town, who is about to get engaged to her trooper boyfriend, Scott (James Marsden). At the fancy Gondola restaurant when Alice has an engagement ring on her finger, a clumsy workman accidentally shoots her in the head with a nail gun.
Seconds before the nail is removed the surgeons are forced to abandon the operation due to Alice’s lack of health insurance, leaving the nail lodged in her head and causing strange erratic behaviour. Her fiancé, Trooper Scott, then has a change of heart on their marriage, feeling the nail embedded in his wife-to-be’s head will cause more trouble than it’s worth.
Alice then heads to Washington D.C. to meet the charming but rather clueless Congressman Howard Birdwell (Jake Gyllenhaal) who has vowed “to help all the people”. So Alice ventures to Washington D.C. to petition for his introducing a health care bill. When the two meet sparks fly, and they realize that their love could interfere with what they stand for.
They use the word ‘wacky’.
God help us. God help us all.