LONDON – Everyone is looking forward to actually seeing J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: Episode 7 but what about a load of FACTS from a galaxy far far away? What? Yes? Well okay then.
May the FACTS be with you!
1. The film will take place entirely on the forest moon Endor and all the characters will be Ewoks except for one who will be a Gungan.
2. Although officially called Star Wars Episode 7, many fans who despised the prequels are referring to it as Episode 4. Fist fights in foyers expected, but the police said they weren’t worried about the very real threat of violence because ‘people who like Star Wars can’t fight’.
3. George Lucas is solely responsible for all the leaks.
4. R2D2 and C3P-O won’t appear in Episode 7/4 because JJ Abrams thinks ‘they’re shit.’
5. No one is interested in Star Wars and there is a very good chance that not a single person will go and see the new film.
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