HOLLYWOOD – The new trailer for Star Wars: Rogue One has hit the internets and we have learned five FACTS and five FACTS alone.
Many Bothans died so that they could bring you these FACTS:
1. Aggravated assault is a crime a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
2. Ben Mendelsohn is playing Ian McEwan in the X-Men movies. Felicity Jones is playing Katniss Ever-rebel. Forest Whitaker is playing Grumpy Grump-Face.
3. The Butler from the White House is a really pessimistic soldier. ‘What will you do when they catch you? What will you do when they break you?’ Jesus Christ! Nice pep talk Bird. How about don’t get caught? How about: kick some ass out there? Do some aggravated assault!?
4. Even though this is a prequel, the word prequel has become so toxic in the Star Wars marketing universe that it has been replaced by the much more exciting word ‘story’.
5. There is another Death Star! Okay, I know it’s a prequel… sorry, a story, a story. I mean a story. But I do hope this is the last time we see the Death Star or the Star Killer or whatever else. I mean they surely won’t make another one will they? The insurance premiums alone…!