HOLLYWOOD – Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer debuted on the internet, yet what did it really tell us about the film due out on Christmas Day, 2015? A previous Force Awakens post gave some ideas but to be sure we sent our Padawan FACT team to FACT-touine to find out.
1. Folk singer and misanthrope Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) from the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis gets to fly an x-wing over a lake. As well as an exciting moments of derring-do, Davis will no doubt be offering a song on acoustic guitar, perhaps as a melancholic prelude to a massive battle sequence, à la Pippin in Return of the King.
2. Stormtroopers are going to fight on the beaches of Normandy. Whether they have broadened their admission policy to included people who are not Bobba Fett’s father, or is Attack the Block’s John Boyega doing a bit of garbage compactor style disguise? This we are yet to see, but knowing Abrams’ fondness for visual quotes (inspired by a love of the original and/or a lack of original ideas) my credits would be on the latter.
3. Andy Serkis/Benedict Cumberbatch/Adam Driver’s voice-over is the kind of gravel strewn larynx work that usually can be heard on commercials for bourbon or Monday night football. The intoning about darkness awakening and light too is all a bit silly and made me miss Yoda’s thrilling précis to the Phantom Menace trailer, which was – let’s not forget – an exciting trailer.
4. Bad Robot is not just JJ Abrams’ production company, but an ethos. If you hated flying CGI R2D2, you’re going to loathe SPIN-EE Bad Robot Spin.
5. Sith Lords are so bad ass that even the safety guard on their lightsabers can cut your fingers off. The Millennium Falcon loops the loop (bit of lens flare), Daisy Ridley tools around on a landspeeder turned sideways and Voldemort lurks North of the Wall. What more could we want?
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