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Tuesday 22 October 2019
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17 THINGS WE KNOW ABOUT ANT MAN

17 THINGS WE KNOW ABOUT ANT MAN

Marvel’s Ant Man is the flavour of the week and rather than doing something constructive with our lives such as building shelters for the homeless or conducting illegal eugenics experiments in a bid to create the perfect soldier, we scoured the internet to compile a list of stuff we know about a movie we don’t really care about.

  1. No humpback whales were harmed during the making of Ant Man.
  2. An anagram of Ant Man is Man Ant.
  3. Paul Rudd is allergic to swords.
  4. Joe Cornish is making his own version of Ant Man using socket puppets and an Iphone camera.
  5. Michael Douglas’ penis had it’s own trailer.
  6. Jay Z will not feature on the soundtrack, but he’s got lots of money so he’ll probably sit in one of the luxury seats in the cinema and take his own popcorn and drinks rather than pay  for them in the foyer because you don’t get rich by wasting money.
  7. Steven Spielberg considered directing Ant Man but instead chose to stare at a specially adapted kettle that never boils.
  8. Ants are allergic to hammers.
  9. Paul Rudd’s nickname is ‘Sexual Purgatory’.
  10. Michael Shannon will make a cameo in Ant Man playing a guy who thinks he’s Michael Shannon but is actually Richard Rowntree.
  11. What do you call an asshole ant? A pedant.
  12. Peyton Reed directed Jim Carrey in Yes Man which is the same film as Liar, Liar, but not the same film, because he says yes a lot rather than lies, but it’s still the same film.
  13. I had to look up Peyton Reed’s name because I couldn’t remember who the director was.
  14. You can legally marry an ant in the Yemen as long as the ant is a practicing heterosexual.
  15. The square root of 69 is 8.306
  16. The capital of Equatorial Guinea is Malabo
  17. Dogs CAN look up.
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