It’s been years since award-winning documentary Jurassic Park hit the screens and dazzled a generation of cinema goers. Apparently there were two sequels and one of them starred William H Macy as a Stegosaurus but I haven’t bothered to see them. Or I have already seen them and I can’t remember a damn thing that happens.
Does Vince Vaughn get eaten by Godzilla in one or was that a wet dream I had? Anyway, Jurassic World is due to be released in 2015 and here is a run down of what we know:
Does Vince Vaughn get eaten by Godzilla in one or was that a wet dream I had? Anyway, Jurassic World is due to be released in 2015 and here is a run down of what we know:
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Jurassic World focuses on a housing project in Baltimore. Idris Elba will play a guy called Stringer Bell who deals powdered Triceratops horn to the Chinese.
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Mickey Rourke will definitely have sex with a Raptor.
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The end credits will feature a scene in which Iron Man convinces a Brontosaurus to join The Avengers.
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Bryce Dallas Howard will play Bryce Dallas Howard in the patented Bryce Dallas Howard role.
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KFC will be the food outlet advertising tie-in producing a new range to promote the movie including, but not limited to, Hot and Spicy Pterodactyl Wings, Honey glazed Diplodocus thighs and Iguanodon semen slushies.
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A herd of Zombie Dinosaurs will make an appearance.
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Jeff Goldblum will reprise his role as Dr Seth Brundle who will be genetically spliced with a megalosaurus during a freak teleportation accident.
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John Williams has confirmed he will compose the entire soundtrack on a Kazoo.
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Steven Spielberg recently told The New York Times that George Lucas offered to direct the movie. “I didn’t stop laughing for three months,” said Spielberg.
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In order to maximise security, the film will be distributed to cinemas under the code name: Debbie Does Dinosaurs.
Jurassic World is due for release in 2015.
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