Wednesday 20 September 2017
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HOLLYWOOD – After years of rumour and speculation The Big Bang Theory creator Chuck Lorre has confirmed that a big screen version of the mystifyingly popular sitcom is currently in the works.

“To be honest, I’m sick to f*cking death of the show,” said a candid Lorre:

I haven’t written a script for 4 years it’s all done by computer. We just give it a premise. Leonard is pensive, Raj is confused, Sheldon is put in yet another sexually awkward situation and then the machine churns out 20 or so minutes of spirit crushing drivel. Don’t get me wrong, it’s made me a millionaire but I cannot look at myself in the mirror without thinking of that Robert Oppenheimer quote. “Now I have become death, the destroyer of light-entertainment.”

Lorre confessed that writing a movie was the only way he could think of to get the monkey off his back:

I did approach the network with the script but they never made it past the opening act and one senior producer vomited all over her Laura Ashley pant suit. I understand, I mean there is some pretty grisly stuff in there but I’m proud of the work and you can’t imagine of how much I enjoyed writing the scene when Sheldon accidentally falls into the Komodo dragon pit at the zoo. As far as I’m aware it’s the first time in cinema history that a man has been slowly devoured and digested in one continuous 45 minute shot.

The Big Bang Theory: The Movie is due for release in 2016.


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