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Thursday 27 April 2017
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SCOTT BAKULA QUANTUM LEAPS INTO TRUMP

SCOTT BAKULA QUANTUM LEAPS INTO TRUMP

NEW YORK – In a surprising turn of events, Scott Bakula has used the Quantum Leap accelerator to leap into Donald Trump’s body.

“I’m just sick of this crazy s*it,” said Bakula.

I haven’t leapt into anyone in over twenty years but the fate of the world is at stake so I figured it was time to do what I do best.

Bakula confirmed that he took possession of Trump earlier this morning but things didn’t go according to plan:

I think some of the residue of Donald still remains. I’ve got an irrational hatred of immigrants and I’ve been building walls out of lego for the last six hours. Gooshie tells me this is only temporary but I hope it wears off soon because I’m currently overcome with the desire to grab a woman by their pussy and to be honest, aside from my moral reservations, it sounds like a logistical nightmare. I mean, unless you approach from the right angle, it’s going to be difficult to get any purchase.

Asked what he’ll do when he’s fully in control of Trump, Bakula was candid:

It will all be fine. I’m going to tax the rich, increase funding for education, dismantle the military industrial complex and declare world peace. By the time I’ve finished Donald Trump will be the hailed as the greatest political leader in the history of civilisation.

Asked if Trump will be his final leap, Bakula shook his head:

It was going to be but I figured that since I’m back in the game, I can take this opportunity to go back to 2007, leap into George Lucas and stop him making Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

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