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Thursday 24 August 2017
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SCARLETT JOHANSSON ‘NOT JAPANESE’

SCARLETT JOHANSSON ‘NOT JAPANESE’

HOLLYWOOD – Ghost in the Shell and Lost in Translation star Scarlett Johansson is not actually Japanese, we learned today.

Shocking news hit the internet that Scarlettt Johansson – star of Ghost in the Shell – is not in fact Japanese. Internet Sleuth Abercromby Mitch told the Studio Exec:

The first thing I did was look at the name. It doesn’t look very Japanese if you ask me. Norwegian and like Old Southy is more likely. Then I sleuthed my way over to the Wikipedia page and I found this little nugget buried under the deceptively simple looking subheading ‘Early Life’. And I quote:

Scarlett Johansson was born in Manhattan.[5] Her father, Karsten Johansson, is an architect originally from Copenhagen, Denmark,[6] and her paternal grandfather, Ejner Johansson, was an art historian, screenwriter, and director. Her mother, Melanie Sloan, a producer, comes from an Ashkenazi Jewish family from the Bronx.

So you see. Not Japanese at all.

Rupert Sanders reacted to the news with dismay:

I thought she was Japanese. I mean Lost in Translation was set in Tokyo right. And I think that’s in Japan.

A spokesperson for the Media Action Network for Asian Americans (MANAA) – who had been critical of the casting of Johansson in the role of Motoku Kusanagi  – had this to say:

Well, yeah, that’s what we were… Haven’t you been paying attention?

Ghost in the Shell is in Theatres.

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