NEW ZEALAND – Peter Jackson stirred up controversy earlier today when he insisted that his new film The Hobbit could be split into as many as four films.
‘There is a lot of material in the appendices,’ he said. ‘And the fact is I really need a new house.’
Speaking from his mansion outside Wellington, he clarified, ‘Well, I say need, it’s more that I want. I really want a new house. Some people are bound to say aren’t the houses you already have enough, but I say (with all due respect) Extended Edition bitches.’
Mr. Jackson’s Hobbit films – the first of which An Unexpected Journey is due to be released in December – have already caused some controversy after reports leaked to The Studio Exec that Jackson had abandoned forced perspective and CGI techniques to reproduce the hobbits’ and dwarfs’ diminished stature and was resorting to a technique he was calling ‘aesthetic amputation’.
This procedure apparently involves the amputation of the leg just below the knee and the attaching of large hairy prosthetic feet. Martin Freeman, who plays Bilbo Baggins, refused to comment on the rumours though he did remark that Mr. Jackson was keeping all the feet he had collected in a large fridge and had promised to return them in time for Sherlock Season 3.