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Wednesday 26 April 2017
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GALACTIC EMPIRE TERRIFIED OF WELL-SPOKEN ENGLISH GIRLS

GALACTIC EMPIRE TERRIFIED OF WELL-SPOKEN ENGLISH GIRLS

HOTH – The Galactic Empire revealed today their greatest enemy: well-spoken English girls.

An insider from the Galactic Empire today revealed that posh sounding English girls terrify it. The anonymous source told the Studio Exec:

Ever since Princess Leia, we’ve been worried by English girls with glass cut accents. But the situation worsens with every year. Rebels who are stone cold killer, smugglers, bounty hunters, Jedi Knights, these guys we can handle. But Jesus, these girls and those accents. Jyn totally screws us up, Leia gets the plans to the Death Star and Rey carries on the tradition. All these years we’ve been thinking it’d be the Wookies would do us in. But it was always going to be the girls.

What are you going to do about it?

I don’t know. Hope Keira Knightley stays quiet.

Rogue One is in cinemas.

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