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Thursday 17 August 2017
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DANIEL DAY-LEWIS WILL NOT PLAY THE DEATH STAR

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS WILL NOT PLAY THE DEATH STAR

LONDON – With news of his retirement, Rian Johnson has confirmed that Daniel Day-Lewis will no longer play The Death Star in Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

“He was the first and only man on my list,” said a teary Johnson:

This was mainly due to the fact that my pen ran out as I was writing the second name but also because Daniel is the only man with the gravitas to pull it off and without gravitas, the Death Star would just float away into space.

Johnson said he came up with idea of casting Day-Lewis after a conversation with George Lucas:

George told me that back in the 70s he cast Robert De Niro as The Death Star  but it never panned out. De Niro went away for 6 months to try and gain a 1000 tonnes in weight but despite a strict diet of pizza and ice-cream, Bobby only managed to gain 60 pounds and so George had no choice but to drop him.

Day-Lewis was rumoured to be digesting 20 litres of cooking oil and 10 boxes of Pop Tarts a day but according to his personal chef, Man Vs Food presenter Adam Richman, Daniel give no indication he was going to call it quits:

I’m still in shock. The man impressed me every single day. Just last week I watched him eat 10 deep pan pizzas and a chocolate gateau but immediately afterwards he turned around and said to me “You know, Adam. I could still eat a horse.”, and do you know what he did? He trotted over to the local stable yard and he ate an entire horse, from its head to its hoofs. He didn’t even bother killing it first and in that moment I knew he was the greatest.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi is due for release in 2017

 

 

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