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Thursday 24 August 2017
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BEN AFFLECK’S BATMAN SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET

BEN AFFLECK’S BATMAN SCRIPT LEAKS ONTO INTERNET

HOLLYWOOD – Following on from Batman v Superman, Ben Affleck has written his own stand alone Batman script.

The Studio Exec has received a leaked copy of the script and here is publishing an EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT.

 

EXT: TEHRAN, IRAN – DAY

A desert wind blows down the street as the American hostages are escorted to the prison. But suddenly a shadow as of a bat sweeps over them.

TERRORIST

Oh no!

BATMAN attacks and kills all the terrorists with a Gattling Gun.

BATMAN

Taste my pain, bitches.

Batman rescues the hostages.

INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY

President Obama gives BATMAN the Congressional Medal of Honor.

PRESIDENT OBAMA

Well, Batman, What can I say? That was amazing! First you kill the terrorists, then you rescue the hostages and now you’ve given me a comprehensive solution to climate change.

BATMAN
Just something I did on my lunchbreak. But it still won’t bring back my parents.

PRESIDENT OBAMA

No of course not. But is there something more that we can do for you?

BATMAN

Yes, I need you to give me back Robin.

PRESIDENT OBAMA
Robin? I don’t believe we have anyone in our employ called Robin.

BATMAN

The truth is he was part of a CIA black ops and you wiped his memory and convinced him his name was Jason Bourne.

PRESIDENT OBAMA

Wow, so all those films were just…

BATMAN

Prequels.

INT. BATCAVE. NIGHT.

BATMAN and ROBIN are looking at a map of the city.

ROBIN

It’s good to be back, Batman. With my memory fully restored. I could have sworn that I helped you write Good Will Hunting.

BATMAN

Nope, that was all me. Ready. Tonight we much face a cabal of our darkest foes.

ROBIN

The Joker?

BATMAN

No!

ROBIN
The Riddler?

BATMAN

Guess again Boy Wonder!

ROBIN

The New York Critics Circle?

BATMAN

A.O. Scott and his villainous gang must be stopped. To the Batmobile. And don’t forget the napalm!

FINIS

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